


Mushroom-Deep

by AnesthetizeMeCaptain



Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Accidental Sex, Angst, Awkward Sexual Situations, Bad Decisions, Crack, M/M, Wordcount: 500-1.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:27:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27818266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnesthetizeMeCaptain/pseuds/AnesthetizeMeCaptain
Summary: Sam lusts for Frodo, but an accidental encounter brings bad luck to the stupid, fat hobbit.
Relationships: Frodo Baggins/Sam Gamgee, Sam Gamgee/Pippin Took
Kudos: 6





	Mushroom-Deep

As the Sam and Frodo made their way through the shortcut of Farmer Maggot's field, they were abruptly run into by their two friends Merry and Pippin. With loud thuds and a great deal of clamour and yelling, all parties regained their composures. 

"What are you two doing here?!?" Samwise burst out. He was very upset that his journey with Frodo had been interrupted. He had been waiting so long for this, and he did not expect to be awarded alone time with his crush after getting caught peeping through his window… guess his good luck couldn't last forever. 

Merry and Pippin stood dumbfounded with arms full of crops. Probably stoned and with the munchies again, Sam thought. Before the newcomers could answer, the foursome was alerted by loud yells and the sight of a scythe being brandished above the corn. 

"Marmer Faggot!" Merry yelled. "Follow me!"

All four went running through the crops as fast as their hairy, shitty feet could carry them. The way was paved with broken stalks and hard cobs. 'Twas a shame hobbits didn't believe in shoes.

Sam was running, and was so lustily transfixed on Frodo's pasty, boney ass that he didn't even realize when the group stopped upon reaching a cliff edge. Sam barreled into them with the force of a mule in heat, sending all four bouncing, toppling, and flailing the whole way down. 

When they finally came to a stop, Sam groaned in pain. "I think I broke somethin'." He reached behind his hurting ass, and to his great surprise, his hand fell on a fleshy object seated deep in his anus. Oh no, Sam thought, this almost feels like…

"Mushrooms!" bellowed Merry. Oh Merry, you sweet, ignorant slut. He had no idea of what unholy accident just occurred. Sam began to look over his shoulder, praying. Anyone but…

"Pippin!" Frodo yelled from ahead. "Are you okay?". Sam went pale and turned to look at Pippin behind him. Pippin was as shocked and mortified as he, bearing a hollow stare at the horizon. "Don't move too quickly" said Pippin, still refusing eye contact. It was clear this was a case of accidental penetration. The question was, could they get out of it without the others noticing?

Merry was filling his arms with (probably poisonous) mushrooms as Frodo wandered to the road in delerium. He began to look more and more agitated until he screamed "Get off the road, GET OFF THE ROAD!!!"

This was the moment of distraction Sam was looking for. He rocketed forward and released from Pippin with an audible pop. The stench of sweaty ballsack and man-ass filling the air.

They all ran for cover under a log when one of the black riders approached. The shadowy figure stopped and began sniffing. After a few strong whiffs, a look of utter disgust crossed his face and he spurred his mount down the road.

Frodo looked to Sam and Pippin in confusion. They would take this secret to the grave.


End file.
